Embracing Setbacks: Insights from Five Decades of Writing Journey

Experiencing rejection, especially when it happens repeatedly, is anything but enjoyable. A publisher is declining your work, delivering a clear “Not interested.” Being an author, I am familiar with setbacks. I started pitching story ideas half a century past, upon college graduation. Since then, I have had several works declined, along with article pitches and countless essays. Over the past score of years, concentrating on op-eds, the refusals have multiplied. On average, I face a setback frequently—adding up to in excess of 100 each year. Overall, denials over my career number in the thousands. Today, I could have a master’s in rejection.

However, is this a complaining outburst? Far from it. Since, at last, at the age of 73, I have come to terms with being turned down.

In What Way Did I Achieve This?

For perspective: At this point, almost everyone and their relatives has given me a thumbs-down. I haven’t tracked my acceptance statistics—doing so would be very discouraging.

A case in point: not long ago, a newspaper editor turned down 20 pieces in a row before approving one. Back in 2016, no fewer than 50 book publishers declined my memoir proposal before a single one approved it. Subsequently, 25 agents rejected a nonfiction book proposal. An editor requested that I submit my work only once a month.

My Seven Stages of Setback

In my 20s, all rejections were painful. I felt attacked. It seemed like my writing was being turned down, but myself.

Right after a manuscript was turned down, I would go through the process of setback:

First, disbelief. What went wrong? Why would these people be blind to my ability?
Next, refusal to accept. Maybe you’ve rejected the wrong person? Perhaps it’s an oversight.
Third, rejection of the rejection. What do they know? Who made you to hand down rulings on my efforts? You’re stupid and their outlet is subpar. I reject your rejection.
Fourth, frustration at those who rejected me, then anger at myself. Why do I put myself through this? Could I be a glutton for punishment?
Fifth, negotiating (often mixed with optimism). What does it require you to acknowledge me as a exceptional creator?
Sixth, depression. I’m no good. Additionally, I’ll never be successful.

This continued over many years.

Great Examples

Of course, I was in good company. Accounts of creators whose manuscripts was initially rejected are plentiful. Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. The writer of Dubliners. The novelist of Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Virtually all renowned author was originally turned down. If they could overcome rejection, then perhaps I could, too. The sports icon was not selected for his high school basketball team. Most American leaders over the recent history had been defeated in campaigns. The filmmaker claims that his Rocky screenplay and attempt to appear were rejected repeatedly. For him, denial as a wake-up call to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat,” he has said.

The Final Phase

Then, as I reached my 60s and 70s, I entered the last step of setback. Peace. Now, I better understand the various causes why an editor says no. For starters, an publisher may have already featured a like work, or be planning one in the pipeline, or just be considering a similar topic for a different writer.

Alternatively, more discouragingly, my pitch is of limited interest. Or maybe the reader thinks I lack the credentials or stature to succeed. Perhaps isn’t in the field for the work I am peddling. Or was busy and scanned my work too quickly to recognize its quality.

Feel free call it an realization. Any work can be turned down, and for any reason, and there is pretty much not much you can do about it. Some explanations for rejection are always not up to you.

Your Responsibility

Others are under your control. Honestly, my pitches and submissions may occasionally be flawed. They may be irrelevant and impact, or the message I am trying to express is insufficiently dramatised. Or I’m being flagrantly unoriginal. Maybe an aspect about my writing style, especially commas, was annoying.

The point is that, despite all my decades of effort and rejection, I have achieved published in many places. I’ve authored several titles—my first when I was in my fifties, my second, a autobiography, at 65—and more than numerous essays. These works have been published in newspapers large and small, in regional, worldwide outlets. My first op-ed ran in my twenties—and I have now written to many places for 50 years.

However, no blockbusters, no book signings at major stores, no features on talk shows, no presentations, no book awards, no Pulitzers, no Nobel Prize, and no national honor. But I can better take rejection at this stage, because my, humble accomplishments have eased the jolts of my frequent denials. I can choose to be thoughtful about it all today.

Educational Setbacks

Rejection can be helpful, but when you heed what it’s attempting to show. If not, you will almost certainly just keep interpreting no’s the wrong way. What insights have I gained?

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Embracing Setbacks: Insights from Five Decades of Writing Journey

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